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Home Page › People & Society › Fun & Humor
 

What I Found in My Beard This Morning

 
Author: John T Jones, Ph.D.

It must be spring coming on. I couldnt stand my beard for another minute. I had warned my wife that it had to go. She finally gave in and said that if the beard was bothering me so much I could shave it off.

As spring approaches my beard gets shaggier and itchier. It drives me nuts. I get tired of it getting into my bowl of Cheerios and my oil paints.

So this morning I shaved it off and my wife finished the job, cutting my hair after I mowed most of it off. It was while I was picking up the hair, which looked like a bale of cotton, that I found some of my stuff. I squeezed that bail of beard hair and got about a pint of syrup. I felt something sharp.

I was fishing last summer and dropped my flies. I looked all over the ground, pushing away the brush, and shooing away a rattlesnake, but I couldnt find them. I thought it was Xrytspet from Fanton in G10009845788899990766 playing tricks on me. That little wimp appeared and said she didnt do it and even helped me look for them. Well, I found them this morning in my beard. There was an Adams Fly, two Royal Coachman, and that black gnat I tied on a number 18 hook I was so proud of.

One thing that has concerned me over the winter is that I lost my silver clad hematite bolo that my Navaho friend had made for me in Arizona. He gave me a discount only charging me 350 bucks. So I needed to find it. I saw the leather necklace first and when I pulled on it and there was the rest of the bolo. I jumped up and down with joy.

After I found the treasures, my wife sent me out to the front yard to put up the flag. The wind hit my face like ten thousand icicles.

Did I shave my beard too early this year?

The End

Author Bio:

John T Jones, Ph.D.

Jones was a vice president of a Fortune 500 company subsidiary having the major responsibility for research and development and certain engineering functions. After he retired, he became editor of an international trade magazine. Jones is Executive Representative of IWS, sellers of Tyler Hicks wealth-success books and kits. He is a direct mail and mail order marketer and operates a dozen websites.

He has written three technical books, four novels (Bull, Revenge on the Mogollon Rim, Bone China, and In No Way Guilty), and many published papers on business, marketing, engineering and other topics. Details on many of these topics can be found at his personal web site.

Jones is a hack poet and amateur landscape painter. He lives in Idaho with his wife of 52 years. He has five children, three in medicine, a lawyer, and a portrait artist. The Jones? have thirty-two talented grandchildren (many with special musical talent and skills), and one great grand child.

Jones is a prolific writer which started when he was an engineering professor at Iowa State University (Go Cyclones!). He doesn?t know how to stop.

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