Film Producer Mike Todd, who was a talent in his own right, but is most often associated with his marriage to Elizabeth Taylor, is quoted as having said: Ive never been poor, but I have been broke. This line can be used to demonstrate the power of psychological punctuation, of emphasis. If you punctuate an event in your life with a mere comma, a pause, ever so slight, then it must not have been as significant to you, not as dramatic as if you used a period or an exclamation point. A slight change of terms here and there can mean a lot. To be poor, well, that warrants at least a period, if not an exclamation point, but to be broke, thats just a blip on the radar, a mere bump on the road, so it rates a comma. There are lots of word pairs that we can examine that tell a similar story. For example, imagine hearing someone say, Im feeling a lot of pressure! This has a negative cast to it, am I right? But what if the same person said, Im really being challenged! what then? Challenge is good, it makes us stretch, but pressure is bad, it makes us collapse, yes? Or, are we really speaking about the same thing? Given a choice, particularly if you want to maintain a positive mental attitude, what would be a better way of explaining your experience? Are you in a high-pressure job, or are you in a very challenging position? To a large extent, its up to you to choose how youre going to punctuate your experience; youre the grammarian of your own emotions. Did the boss or your family member provide feedback, or criticize you? Are you experiencing a mere setback or an earthshaking failure? The next time youre in a funk listen to how youre defining your circumstances. Then ask, does it rate an exclamation point, a period, a comma, or nothing at all? |