She was depressed, hurt and angry! Wrap in a dark cloud with no light, no hope; she wanted to give up! She wanted to avoid seeing what she was doing wrong! She saw herself as innocent, her kids as guilty! She was angry with them and blaming them for her problems!

If she saw what she was doing she would feel guilt and anger at herself! Something she didnt want to do! She thought her kids were the victimizers and she the victim! She felt that no matter how much she tried to help them they always misused her! She felt disempowered, like there was nothing she could do1 She was the victim with no power! They had the power!

Paradoxically, she was protecting herself from the very thing she needed to empower herself to make her situation better! If she saw what she was doing wrong, she could alter her relationships, by altering her behavior. But if she kept seeing herself as the victim, her relationships could only change, if her kids decided to change first! By being the victim, she could continue to avoid feeling responsible for her problems and the discrepancy between who she thought she was and who she really was!

Then she realized that she was getting something out of her relationships. She was trying to get the love and attention she wanted as kid but never received from her parents! So most of the things she did for her kids had emotional strings attached to them!

If her kids didnt live up to her expectations shed feel hurt and angry! She would argue with them and try to get them to fall in line with her wishes! But if that didnt happen shed feel depressed, her blood pressure would rise and shed feel like giving up until the cycle began all over again!

Her inner wisdom was trying to impart this insight to her mind but her fear of feeling guilty was so intense, it was like a cloud blocking the sun on a cloudy day! She needed someone in touch with wisdom to stimulate her wisdom, to dissipate her guilt, so she could see the part she was playing in her problems!

(This was done verbally and partly telepathically for her.)

Then in a flash, like lightning! Her clouds lifted! Her sun was shining! She felt energized! She felt changed, because her mind had been changed! The whole panorama of her situation unfolded before her like a surround sound movie screen!

Then like a blind man suddenly regaining his sight! She awakened! She could see! It all seemed so simple now! So silly she thought with a smile! Why hadnt she seen this all the time! Because although her eyes were wide open her spiritual eyes were shut! Now they too were open!

Copyright 2006 El-Veasey Publishing Inc.