Do people tell you that you are a good listener? You could be an even better listener, especially when your partner is doing the talking. Conscious Listening is an essential part of Co-Creating a Conscious Relationship, and there are rules to help you master it. Read on to see how you can become that even better listener.

1. Make time to grant your partners request as soon as possible.

2. Be present and emotionally available, face your partner, look into your partners eyes, and listen. Do not interrupt, interpret, grow defensive, or react to the message. Be present as your adult self and do not allow the reactive part of your brain to evoke the child in you.

3. Paraphrase what the Sender says. If he or she asks you to try again, do so in a safe and gentle manner. Do not grow defensive or frustrated; you will destroy the safe environment the Sender needs in order to share the message. After each paraphrase, always use the four magic words, Please tell me more.

4. Allow the Sender all the time necessaryfive minutes, five hours, or five daysto puke out all frustration, pain, or negative emotions.

5. When you summarize, avoid using Relationship Killers. Do not twist, cajole, make it about you, or project any negative messages through tone of voice, body language, or other nonverbal methods.

6. When you convey to your partner that you understand and empathize, be authentic, be genuine, and let your partner feel that you are truly present and listening. Let him or her know that you are striving to understand his or her perspective and feel his or her experience.

I hope you and your partner
Gain the Awareness, Learn the Skills and
Practice the Techniques so you are successful on your
Journey from I-TO-WE to live your lives as each others

Best Friends During the Day,
Lovers at Night, and
Partners for Life

2006 All Rights Reserved Glenn Cohen
I-TO-WE Relationship Coaching